When my dancer/actor friend from Manila told me to come watch his fringe theater performance called “Love Is Not Yet A Musical”, I’ll admit I was expecting one of those ‘we are so cool and sophisticated that you aren’t going to understand anything we do’ performances. I did not expect to survive one of the most thought provocative, experiential, heart breaking, gut wrenching nights of my life which literally ended in tears for me. I’m pretty sure some of what we went through would not have passed the Helsinki declaration which regulates experiments on human beings.

Sarah Slezer, the 21 year old company manager, had explained to me that they didn’t like the way mainstream theater is done and the idea behind the performance was to create something different, something that will move people and get them to participate. Despite this, no warning bells went off and I was not prepared for what followed.

 

 

 

The creation process itself was experimental too. The group used crowd sourcing to gather more than 500 ideas, letters, monologs from which they selected and combined to create a whole piece. The whole event was exceptionally managed with a crew of around 30 actors and productions manager for the 60+ members of the audience that showed up. Half the performance was in Tagalog so I can’t vouch for that but some of the English monologs were the strongest I’ve ever encountered.

 

Spoiler alert!!! I can’t possibly get you to understand what I went through without some specific examples. Personally after much consideration I do recommend you go and experience the show first-hand if you can (showing, every weekend until the end of march in Manila) And if you do you probably shouldn’t read on…

But for all those of you who are in different countries, you know the drill…

It started out by getting the coolest finger led in one of three colors which the organizer used to separate us into 3 groups.

We were first led into a maze where actors pulled individuals into hidden cloves performing just for them or asking them to complete tasks. I was giving 30 seconds to express my most important message through writing, heard an intensely sexualized monolog. Truth is I missed out on a lot that was going on because I was mesmerized by an actor who poured a shot of tequila for people asking them “What would you tell the last person you broke up with if you had the chance?” and “Are you still angry with them?”

If their answer to the last question was yes the person was to shout the sentence at the actor and throw the tequila shot into their face, if they weren’t angry anymore the actor would raise his glass and they would drink together.

“You never made me come!” Shouted one woman and threw the alcohol into the guy’s face.

“You should have fought for me,” Said another and raised her glass.

And so it went on.

I thought this would be the entire performance but it was barely an introduction and we were hurriedly herded together with our group and led out into another room.

For the next hour and a half we were led through 4 different rooms. Our guides used body language and very strict words to get us to follow and stay in line. Each room had a different theme. Hot, Cold, Past, Future. Later I discovered they were connected to the ‘gods’ which was the theme of the play.

Throughout the performances, manipulative brain washing techniques were used to get the crowd to participate and follow along. Fake actors were embedded into the group, time and again creating a peer pressure environment and making you not sure what was part of the performance and what was “real”. Loud music, flashing lights, darkness, smell were all used to put the audience into emotionally vulnerable states and cooperate.

Hot
Seduction, sexuality and the craziness of love were the themes of the monologs. The audience got to dance and share ‘the craziest thing we did for love’. Quitting school, becoming a third wheel and choosing a same sex relationship were some of the very intimate things people shared.

 Cold

Doctors with scary masks were giving us instructions in very commanding voices and demanded: “Introduce yourself, Feed me candy, Give me a kiss on the cheek…” and the crowd, as crowds do, obeyed. This led up to the demand “Ask me out on a date?” to which an older women replied feebly “Um, do you want to go out with me?” The actor shouted an insulting NO!

And broke into one of the best monologues I’ve ever heard that completely embodies the reason I will never date anyone!

 

Next there was a performance in Tagalog revolving around separation and death and we were told to lie down on our backs. A projection appeared above our head. People were looking down at us, throwing dirt and flowers. We were being buried! We were instructed to whisper things we were afraid of. Personally this whole experience made me feel very vulnerable and scared.

Future
Up on the roof  we joined a “fitness” class. “Reach for the stars reach for the moon” the instructor was shouting to happy music. The contradiction to the previous room was very intense. “What is your goal? Your dream for the future? For tomorrow?” The instructor asked. “To go abroad, To finish grad school,” were some answers. The fitness instructor was overly enthusiastic and comic performing sit ups “to finish high school,” and encouraging us to reach for our dreams.

A member of the crowd intervened to share his dream. He was talking about how much he prepared for this day where he would be the star. The instructor seemed to cooperate and dressed the guy in a suite. An intense scene in Tagalog developed, with this guy waiting for his wedding day and being dumped at the alter. At one point the guy jumped onto the edge of the roof and threatened to commit suicide. And the fitness instructor shouted out “No, help me convince him not to jump,” As we had experienced this type of manipulation in the other rooms it was quite evident that this ‘guy’ was part of the crew (He was actually, the friend that brought me to the performance). Despite that it was an extremely intense moment and people were shouting, “Don’t jump, come down!” then another guy jumped up on the roof edge too. At this point I wasn’t sure if that second guy was part of the act or not. The borders between reality and performance had broken down.

The scene somehow quickly changed to us creating paper airplanes and being asked to have a conversation with our future love 10 year from now. But I was still stuck in the previous scene wondering what would have happened if we would have experienced this room first? Could someone have thought this was ‘real’? And even if not, what are the psychological ramifications when asked to participate in this kind of scene? Not to view it from a safe passive distance of an audience, but to be standing there with the instructions to take action!

 

“The Past”
“Then I realize that that smell on your shirt would soon fade away. Slowly, it will smell like all the clothes in my closet. It will no longer smell of you, but smell of me. As I inhale once more …. One last time, I smell your shirt, the scent seems to be gone.” The Nose Knows (Isabelle Martinez)
This heart breaking monologue which was preformed while we were asked to pack boxes with books and clothes brought me to tears, and I wan’t the only one.

This continued with asking us to close our eyes and imagine a previous lover, to caress their hair, touch their nose, their lips… while the actor spoke about memorizing these features because she knew it was the last time she would see this face. Thinking of this now almost 24 hours later still brings tears to my eyes… Then we were asked to draw a good memory that we had with our past lover and share it and finally a monolog from an old women in Tagalog who was crying and showing pictures from an album…

War
As we were brought to the first maze room and were met with a guy playing the piano I thought it was finally over. But the final act hadn’t yet begun. We were told we would be going to war and given 5 minutes to freshen up and use the toilets.

Back on the roof we were told to choose a different color than what we had gotten. I missed the point that we were supposed to choose based on which room we were most connected to and chose entirely based on color. Blue, like a star wars light saber! We were separated into groups when all chaos broke loose. Smoke screens, water, flashing lights and constant screaming from all around. “Stay with me!” Shouted the actor in front of me holding an umbrella as she ran across the roof through the chaos. I was the only one that actually followed her as the rest ended up with other actors or got lost in the chaos.  Two other people found us and we were instructed to say things we hate. All the while we were surrounded by screams and shouts from the other groups which were doing other stange activities. This continued to a “cleansing ritual” were we were to sprinkle water on ourselves and “release” things we didn’t want to take with us. We were then told to go experience the other groups’ “rituals”,  where they were saying sorry for things they had done while hitting a drum or making promises for the future. By this point I was too shell shocked to do anything.

But it still wasn’t over and a “battle” between the groups had begun. I’m probably getting all of this confused but I think a dance performance between a man and a women was interrupted and we, the past and the cold group were told to convince the woman to leave her partner and stay with us. The other group was told to convince her to stay. Then I think we were told to do the opposite. But who the hell knows…

There was a last crazy “game” where the actors pantomimed a train and told people they could get on or off whenever they wanted. Almost everyone got on and they were surrounded and literally crushed by the actors who got them to run around the roof. Luckily being from Jewish decent I knew better than to be conned to get on a crowded train.

Anyway, somehow the scene changed to a marriage scene and then there was this fire show and a story about this love god getting beat up by children, then this live sweet song came on and every one was giving hugs to each other. It was obvious they wanted to put us through some “healing process” but I had had enough of being pushed around and told what to do so I just sat down and tried to get everyone to leave the white girl crying in the corner alone.