Ten minutes before I left for my first ever Acupuncture treatment, the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science published an article titled “why acupuncture is giving sceptics the needle”. If I had any inclination to believe in god or fate or whatever I’d say it was a sign telling me not to go. Luckily I don’t so I can bring you this tale. Read on…

I might not believe in God or even Chi for that matter but I do believe in the well documented Placebo effect. As I’m suffering from a mild L4/L5 pinched nerve, the cause of which I’m not sure I want to know, I thought why not try it. Even the article the Dawkings piece was based on said some research indicated Acupuncture could help in lower back pain. Besides I love Dr Mae-Wan Ho’s theory about how quantum coherence might allow our cells to communicate at a much lower level and she muses about acupuncture being able to affect that network.

I freaked out a little, seeing this while still on the table with all the needles in…

After I explained to the head of the clinic my symptoms she took a look at my tongue. She asked me to lay down while she and her assistant preceded to examine me by pressing at certain points, moving my legs around and stretching me here and there. I think it took a long stressful 10 minutes. I felt I was in some test waiting to hear the important results. Finally she said my spine was healthy and my energy levels were good. Which I’m hoping means my nerve pinch isn’t caused by a slipped disk.

From there I went with the assistant who started out with the best shiatsu style massage applying very strong and focused pressure. Then she swabbed my back with alcohol and my stress levels jumped up. I tried to stay calm while she inserted the first needle. It felt somewhat between a pinch and a static electric shock. Not too painful but still an ‘ouch’ moment. She went on slowly inserting more needles each of which felt different. Within a few seconds of the needles’ insertion the pain subdued and some weren’t felt at all.

Then she said I will feel a “tok tok tok”. Just as I began saying I don’t feel anything I yelped out as fast week electric shocks began pulsing through my lower back. That’s when things got really strange. I started feeling as if I was being stung by needles in placed the acupuncturist wasn’t even touching me, the thigh I was lying on, the back of my hamstring and the fingers of leg, all of which on the left side which is being effected by the nerve pinch. As the Acupuncturist’s English wasn’t the best it was hard to explain to her but when I did she went on to place needles in those area’s that I mentioned that she could reach and massaged the rest.

I was quite surprised at how dynamic and changeable the feelings were. Each point was sending out completely different signals every few seconds. At times the pulsing was almost unbearable, a moment later it was almost unfelt, then I felt pleasurable pressure on my lower back and suddenly my right shoulder felt as if it were pricked. I was being my regular animated self, giggling and screeching, when a woman that was getting a massage a few meters from me, said through a cloth certain that separated us, “next time I want to have what she’s having”, after which I struck up a strange little conversation with her trying to explain how strange it all felt.

Before the needles were removed I asked the acupuncturist if she could take a picture. I think she thought I was insane but still took the photo J

Then she asked me to turn on my back and started stretching me in a thai style massage.

I felt very strange getting up but could still feel my nerve pinch. As the whole treatment had cost me just $7 I wanted to tip the woman but she wouldn’t let me.

After effects:

I kept on needing to pee for the next two hours. Then after a nap I woke up my lower back feeling very stiff, as if it had a hard workout, but I couldn’t recreate the nerve pinch feeling that happens only when I arch my back. I kept wondering if my subconsciousness wasn’t allowing me to arch as far as I usually do but I really did my best to contort every which way. The lower back pain was there but the shooting pain down my buttock was gone. Latter I went to my regular kung fu class and at some point managed to recreate that nerve pinch feeling but it was still much harder to reach and the pain was much weaker.

The next day I woke up and the nerve pinch is pretty much back to usual, but the whole experience was strange enough so I’m willing to recreate the experiment on Sunday…I’ll see how it goes.